Trump... It's easy to write an article hating on him, but instead I'm just going to lay some things on the table for you. The Donald has dropped some serious knowledge on us over the past couple months, like the following tidbits of wisdom like:
"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible."
"You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever." (referring to Megan Kelly who may have been on her period)
"I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."
"I have a great relationship with the blacks."
"I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful."
"My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body."
"Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure,it's not your fault."
Apart from his poetic rhetoric, the Donald has a few ideas for how to make America great again, ideas like "bombing the shit out of Iraq" (again, since bombing Iraq is a great American tradition) and taking their oil. Building a wall along the Mexican border, and making Mexico pay for it. No matter how ridiculous, two faced, hypocritical, or downright evil he is, his support base really doesn't care because after all, they want invade countries that don't exist.
Forget the logical fallacies in his platform, his inconsistent ideology, his intolerable morality, and his ability to lie to your face with a smile, he's just a guy trying to make America great again.
Which is why I am announcing now that if Donald J. Trump announces that he will invade the great northern threat known as Canada- with their knock off "bacon", Justin Bieber, and Tim Horton's Tim-bits donuts- I will donate my entire life savings to his campaign in order to make America great again.
The offer is on the table Mr. Trump, I know that once you pledge to invade those moose loving maple syrup drinkers, your collective will fight tooth and nail to stop the imminent menace.
The clock is ticking Mr. Trump, let's make America great again...
rock, love, and live free...
Remso W. Martinez